Long before I knew what a Tarot deck was, I could see pictures in my mind’s eye. As a child, I often saw colorful shapes in the dark corners of my room, animals standing stock still on the stairs, and experienced vivid dreams. In the late 1970s, I wandered into Evangelical Christianity where insight and clairvoyance were frowned upon. Obediently, with a few exceptions, I did my best to ignore anything supernatural which I might otherwise have paid attention to.
In January of 1995, the door to my inner sight reopened through an inrush of Spirit. For a time I was able to summon at will an intuitive picture of anyone I met. I even occasionally received information regarding future events that eventually came to pass. However, I instinctively knew that to ‘read’ someone without their knowledge or permission was an act of energetic invasion. And so, once again, I capped the lid on my intuitive gifting. For another twenty years I closed my third eye, squelching any ability to see beyond the natural plane.
As tragic as that last sentence sounds, let me assure you that the time I spent ‘in darkness’ was not in vain. There is a verse from the Bible that persistently arises in me from time to time:
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. – John 12:24
Nature has much to teach us, especially about the cycle of life and death. The idea that something greater can arise from the death of a thing than what that thing was before is something so simple that an acorn can teach it. After all, what resemblance has that little seed to the oak? Not much, beyond the fact that a thriving oak tree will produce more acorns than one seed could possibly imagine.
The transformation of the seed into the tree mostly happens underground, out of sight, in the dark. I expect it feels very much like death for the seed to break open wide enough to allow the young tree trunk to sprout. Not unlike the cells of a fetus in its mother’s womb, perhaps, or the experience of the caterpillar as it dissolves into nothing before learning to soar on butterfly wings.
So too for me. The years I spent in my own personal twilight were the most transformative of my life. The part of me that remained in the full light of day was sifting and sorting through truth and lie while an underlayer of roots began to anchor into something strong enough to offer the kind of support that I would need to carry me through the storms. My experiences taught me how and what to trust, how and who to love, and what it feels like to follow Spirit through shadows. There are many names for this season of life which so many experience: Shadow Work or The Dark Night of the Soul. Whatever you want to call it, those years turned my seed of insight into something much more powerful and wondrous than I could ever have hoped.
Sometime in the Spring of 2015, I awakened for the third time. Soon after, I came to know two things for certain: 1. I could trust what I saw without question, and 2. I was never going to need to close my third eye again. It was then that I purchased my very first deck of Tarot cards – not because I needed them to perceive Spirit, but because their imagery inspired me in ways I cannot describe in words. At the same time, I am constantly amazed by the subtle ways the energy of the cards connect me to the querent. In the beginning, I chose to focus almost exclusively on the traditional Waite-Rider-Smith deck but now enjoy reading from many different styles and interpretations.
Please know that I have too much respect for free will and events outside of my scope to believe that the Tarot – or anything else – can predict the future with absolute accuracy. I also choose to read only for the querent, so if you have a question about someone else, please do us both a courtesy by asking another Tarot reader to help you.
If you are in the Woodbridge area and would like a Tarot reading with me, stop in at Organic Allure most Fridays & Saturdays from noon to 6 pm, or call to set an appointment: 423-737-6823. I am currently taking donations for readings and other services (Past Life Regression & Energy Healing). I have a breathwork meditation for sale in my Etsy store, or for trade and gift economy, check out Simbi.
Thank you for stopping by the blog! May you be filled with love, light, and peace on your journey forward.