Long before I knew what a Tarot deck was, I saw pictures in my mind’s eye. As a child, I often witnessed colorful shapes in the dark corners of my room, saw the faces of entities speaking thoughts into my mind, or envisioned animals standing on the staircase, guarding me from harm. In the late 1970s, I wandered into Evangelical Christianity where intuition and clairvoyance are frowned upon. Obediently, with a few exceptions, I did my best to ignore anything ‘supernatural’ which I might otherwise have paid attention to.
In January of 1995, the door of my inner sight (a.k.a. the Third Eye) awakened through an in-rush of Spirit, and for a time I was able to summon at will some intuitive insight into anyone I met. I even occasionally received information regarding future events that eventually came to pass. However, I instinctively knew that ‘reading’ someone without their knowledge or permission was an act of energetic invasion. And so, for another twenty years I closed my inner eyelids down tight, effectively turning off any ability I had to perceive beyond the natural plane.
As tragic as that last sentence sounds, let me assure you that the time I spent ‘in darkness’ was not in vain. There is a verse from the Bible that persistently arises in me from time to time:
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. – John 12:24
Nature has much to teach us, especially about the nature of death. The idea that something greater can arise from the end of a thing than what it was before is so simple that an acorn can teach it. After all, what resemblance has that little seed to the oak? Not much, beyond the fact that a healthy oak will produce more acorns than one seed could possibly imagine.
The transformation of the seed into the tree mostly happens underground, out of sight, in the blackness of the soil. I expect it feels very much like death when the seed surrounded by darkness splits open widely enough to allow a young tree trunk to sprout. Not unlike the experience of the caterpillar as it dissolves into nothing before learning to soar on butterfly wings.
So too for me. The years I spent in dormancy were the most transformative of my life. The part of me that remained in the full light of day was sifting and sorting through truth and lie while underneath the surface I grew roots that anchored me to something strong enough to carry me safely through life’s inevitable storms. Through that experience, I came to know that my intuition is more reliable than any information my rational mind will ever be able to dig up or offer. This season of life has many names: The Dark Night of the Soul, the Ego Death, and even Shadow Work. Whatever you want to call it, those years transformed the tiny seed of insight within me into something much more powerful and wondrous than I could ever have hoped or imagined.
Sometime in the Spring of 2015, I awakened for the third time. Soon after I came to know two things for certain: 1. I could trust my clairvoyance without question, and 2. I would never need to close my third eye again. It was then that I purchased my very first deck of Tarot cards – not because I needed them to perceive energy or Spirit, but because their imagery inspired me in ways I cannot describe in words. In the beginning, I focused almost exclusively on the traditional Waite-Rider-Smith deck(s) but now enjoy intuitively reading from many different styles and interpretations. My name is Cindy and I am addeckted. 😅
Sometimes we need something more than a Tarot reading, so in 2020 I became certified in meditation, past life regression hypnosis, and energy healing. Currently I am working through a course in Somatic Therapy to help myself and others overcome trauma.
If any of my work resonates with you, I hope you will visit my Services Page and book a session.
As always, thanks for reading.