Long before I knew what a Tarot deck was, I saw pictures in my mind’s eye. As a child, I often witnessed colorful shapes in the dark corners of my room, saw the faces of entities speaking thoughts into my mind, or envisioned animals standing on the staircase, guarding me from harm. In the late 1970s, I wandered into Evangelical Christianity where intuition and clairvoyance are frowned upon. Obediently, with a few exceptions, I did my best to ignore anything ‘supernatural’ which I might otherwise have paid attention to.
In January of 1995, the door of my inner sight (a.k.a. the Third Eye) awakened through an in-rush of Spirit, and for a time I was able to summon at will some intuitive insight into anyone I met. I even occasionally received information regarding future events that eventually came to pass. However, I instinctively knew that ‘reading’ someone without their knowledge or permission was an act of energetic invasion. And so, for another twenty years I closed my inner eyelids down tight, effectively turning off any ability I had to perceive beyond the natural plane.
As tragic as that last sentence sounds, let me assure you that the time I spent ‘in darkness’ was not in vain. Nature has much to teach us, especially about letting go. The idea that something greater can arise from the end of a thing is so simple that an acorn can teach it. After all, what resemblance has that little seed to the oak? Not much, beyond the fact that a healthy oak will produce more acorns than one seed could possibly imagine.
The transformation of the seed into the tree mostly happens underground, out of sight, in the blackness of the soil. I expect it feels very much like a kind of death, until the seed splits open widely enough to allow a young tree trunk to sprout, not unlike the experience of the caterpillar in the cocoon, as it dissolves into nothing before learning to soar on butterfly wings.
So too for me. The years I spent in dormancy were the most transformative of my life. The conscious, rational part of me sifted and sorted through truth and lie, while beneath the surface my intuition grew roots strong enough to anchor me through life’s inevitable storms. This season of life is known by many names: The Dark Night of the Soul, the Ego Death, and Shadow Work. Whatever you want to call it, those years transformed the tiny seed of insight within me into something much more powerful and wondrous than I could ever have hoped or imagined.
Sometime in the Spring of 2015, I awakened for the third time. Soon after I came to know two things for certain: 1. I could trust my intuition without question, and 2. I would never need to close my third eye again. It was then that I purchased my very first deck of Tarot cards – not because I needed them to perceive energy or Spirit (and certainly not to foretell the future), but because their imagery both inspired and connected me to something more. In the beginning, I focused almost exclusively on the traditional Waite-Rider-Smith deck(s) but now enjoy intuitively reading from many different styles and interpretations. My name is Cindy and I am addeckted. 😅
Sometimes we need more than a Tarot reading, so in 2020 I became certified in meditation, past life regression hypnosis, and energy healing. Currently I am working through a course in Somatic Therapy to help myself and others overcome trauma. If any of my work resonates with you, I hope you will visit my Services Page to book a session.
As always, thanks for reading.