Homecoming, Part 2

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by Cindy (she/her)

Last week’s entry had a few people asking me for more of the story brewing in my head. Thankfully, this week’s incredible photo prompt gave me just what I needed. Rochelle, I love your eye for photography!

Copyright: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Friday Fictioneers – March 21

101 Words

Kelsey woke with a start back in the dilapidated brownstone on Twelfth Street. What was Grant trying to tell her? The vivid dream had left her skin clammy; the taste of cranberries lingered on her tongue.

Dragging herself out of bed for something caffeinated, she padded across her 4th floor studio apartment wondering why this dream disturbed her more than the others – now 10, in as many days.

A knock diverted her from the coffee. “Who’s there?” she asked. No answer. Tying her robe’s sash tightly, she opened the door. Her empty mug exploded when it hit the concrete. “Jim!”

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

If you’d like to participate, clicking on the photo above will transport you to our lovely and talented overseer, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ site. Once there, all shall become clear.

Do take a gander at this week’s other entries:

57 thoughts on “Homecoming, Part 2”

      1. you don’t need “she asked” after “who’s there?” when we read “who’s there?” we know it’s her, and we know she was asking a question. there’s no way we’d read “who’s there?” and not know it was her and not know she asked a question. that makes “who’s there?” unnecessary. now you’ve knocked off the one word plus one more, and that gives you an extra, important word to add somewhere else.

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  3. Well, we need another continuation. Wonderful opening paragraph – love the description of cranberries lingering. Can’t wait for more.

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  4. Really, really good writing – so Jim is back – I’m sitting on pins and needles. By the way, you are a REAL writer. I am impressed with your talent. Keep it coming 🙂 Nan

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  7. surprise at the door…and with the taste of cranberries lingering. my imagination is running wild wondering! great story, Judah. 🙂

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  11. SO full of rich and satisfying details and you only used one extra word! Amazing. I’d like to know what that cranberry taste was all about (probably for “water-cooler talk” effect). Super good, Judah! I’d like to read more.

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    1. Thanks, wmq! I’m glad you asked about the cranberry taste (you’re the first!) – it was meant to indicate that the dream had been so real, maybe actually real… 😉

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  19. This is a wonderful follow-up. The first part pulls the reader in, with a realistic scene and compelling dreams (nightmares and dreams do have a way of setting a mood!)… when she opens the door and Jim is alive, wow! Nice job, in so few words!

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    1. I actually plan to, Guapo! I’ve never tried my hand at a short fiction story, but this one has grabbed my attention. I have a feeling when I get it to that point these little snippets won’t look quite the same. 😉

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      1. That’s great! I love the feeling when a story starts yelling to be let out.
        (I love it more when I’m capable of properly expressing it, but that’s a totally different conversation.)

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